From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Oct 22, 2002 5:00 PM
This sniper thing reminds me of a story the Lord told
me one time, about
this cop who was transporting this homocidal maniac
from prison to the
mental hospital where he was going to be involuntarily
committed. On the
way, one of the tires blows out on the cop car, and
goes flying off. The
cop has a spare, but all the lug nuts are gone. He
stands there scratching
his head for a while, before the homocidal maniac says,
"Why don't you take
one nut off each of the other tires?" And the
cop looks at him and goes,
"How the hell could YOU come up with a good idea
like that?" And the
homocidal maniac goes, "I'm crazy, not STUPID."
I think the cops are never going to find this guy by
just waiting around for
him to make a mistake. It's time to go to full-scale
mass implantation of
mind-control chips for the entire tri-state area.
--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is
("-- ") and not the
way yours is ("--").
-- Some Linux Freak
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
On Tue, 22 Oct 2002 21:00:26 GMT, "Rev. Magdalen"
<magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
>This sniper thing reminds me of a story the Lord
told me one time, about
>this cop who was transporting this homocidal maniac
from prison to the
>mental hospital where he was going to be involuntarily
committed. On the
>way, one of the tires blows out on the cop car,
and goes flying off. The
>cop has a spare, but all the lug nuts are gone.
He stands there scratching
>his head for a while, before the homocidal maniac
says, "Why don't you take
>one nut off each of the other tires?" And
the cop looks at him and goes,
>"How the hell could YOU come up with a good
idea like that?" And the
>homocidal maniac goes, "I'm crazy, not STUPID."
>
>I think the cops are never going to find this guy
by just waiting around for
>him to make a mistake. It's time to go to full-scale
mass implantation of
>mind-control chips for the entire tri-state area.
All this assumes that it is a good idea to stop him at all.
I mean, besides the natural Yetish hatred of all living
things human,
you can't avoid the conclusion that if you shoot people,
there will be
fewer of them.
And it's hard, really, to think of any reason, pinkish
-or- Yetish,
that it is a good thing for there to be more people
and a bad thing
for there to be less of them. There are certainly endless
lists of
reasons why the opposite is true.
So I can't help but think that maybe they were all sitting
in the
police station, talking about how they would go about
catching the
sniper, and one of them pointed out the obvious and
said "Yeah, but
did you ever wonder -why- we do it? I mean why -exactly-?"
And the rest of them were like "God, yeah ... I
never looked at it
that way before ... it's all so pointless when you really
look at it"
and they just spent the rest of the day sitting in the
lunchroom
drinking coffee, staring into space and thinking about
it.
I mean I know I've had days like that.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"How is life treating you? Have rodents eaten
your toes? One
hopes not. Welp I can't stand around madly bantering
like this all
day."
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
"Dom" <not@home.co.uk> wrote in message
news:CZwt9.229$De6.7184610@news-text.cableinet.net...
> On Wed, 23 Oct 2002 10:33:46 +0000, Bokuto wrote:
>
> > If firearms are banned, then how the hell
can we shoot pinks?
>
> What or who are pinks?
Ok,
a) Who the hell are EITHER of you two, and
b) Do you, Dom, have any understanding of the physics
and chemistry involved
in guns? There's no way to program gunpowder not to
explode.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <5a666fe7.0210230540.129b33c0@posting.google.com>,
pooka666
<pooka666@hotmail.com> wrote:
> You know how to spot a government/police black op?
They start by posting bogus letters about "how to spot black ops."
>
> They using bad grammar and spell some werds wrong.
>
> ...and get fanatical about some bullshit issue
> ...and use things like Tarot cards and all.
>
> In short, they go out of their way to sound crazy.
> Shut up and listen! I am God!
You mean... the J'lahns and purples on this newsgroup are cops?
>
> This sniper thing is a variation on "blow
up the whole
> plane and ALL its passengers to get a few people
dead."
>
> "It's so heinous nobody will suspect it."
they are thinking.
>
> http://www.skolnicksreport.com/shistory.html
>
> Also, it gets the ground prepared for more police
powers.
>
> It's a win/win!!! and gets rid of MORE pesky humans.
Yay!
> Makes you proud to be an Americat.
So Sherman Skolnick is your in-the-know news source, eh.
OhhhhKAY.....
Heck, you're a lot more trusting than us numbnuts that
you're trying to
warn.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin,
TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The
Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> You mean... the J'lahns and purples on this
> newsgroup are cops?
>
pupple would be like a 'Carnivore' bot, prolly
written in MSBASIC. Jessica 'Lahn is like a
retired FBI guy (doubling as 'timecube'),
kept on retainer to double-dip even thought
everybody else knows he's sprung a cog ("but
hey, man, he used to work for J. Edgar as a
gopher kid or something way back when.")
*ev*n is like a junior assistant DA with NO
sense of humor about anything. He sees reality
as a chain of illegal acts committed by other
people, and he is the sword of the lord or the
law or something. A pissant Javert type whose
secretaries put salt in his coffee to see if he
can tell the difference and because he's such
an utter humorless prick at work.
--
"That certainly made me feel normal."
--Reverend Ivan Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pooka666@hotmail.com (pooka666)
pooka666@hotmail.com (pooka666) wrote in message news:<5a666fe7.0210230645.47d71737@posting.google.com>...
> What's a cross between the van and the truck everyone
has been told to look for?
> A MAIL TRUCK!
(driven by the Evil Bert)
One more thing that makes no sense in this case....
According to the NY Times, the sniper gave the number
of a pay phone
where he could be called. (The one the "undocumented
worker" was using
when he got surrounded and hauled off).
I don't know how it works in Maryland, but in Texas
you
CAN'T CALL PAY PHONES.
Another thing, this latest guy they arrested....the
cops got a phone
tip
AND found his fingerprints on the three page letter....but
he's not
the
sniper.
Then Moose gets on teevee and says, "You instructed
us to say, quote,
'The sniper has been caught like a duck in a noose.'"
But the sniper
sent this message? How bizarre!
And he wants money? I guess he thinks having his picture
taken while
he
withdraws a few hundred dollars at a time at some ATM
is what he wants
out of life?
None of this case has made any sense at all from the
very beginning.
It's like a sick soap opera.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pooka666@hotmail.com (pooka666)
I've been reading the news stories via Google on this
sniper thing
and what's up with Mojo and Bilbo or whoever they are.
It's like a cascade of misinformation and misleading
headlines.
F'rinstance...under the headline ".223 rifle found"
you click
on it and all it says is that the caliber in Montgomery,
Alabama
doesn't match the caliber in Montgomery County.
Then one article says they searched Ground Zero in Marion,
Alabama
(where law enforcement types are trained)
and another article swears up and down the police said
they didn't
search it and it's of "no interest".
One article I read earlier today said that Bilbo's prints
were found
on the letter left near the Ponderosa. Now they are
saying his
fingerprint
was found on a piece of paper in Alabama..like sure
they found this
print
in Alabama and matched it to a high school kid in Bellingham,
Washington
and also they get a tip from the sniper Mojo.
What is it with these Gulf War vets?
PS How I came to Bob....I bought this white early sixties
Plymouth
Valiant
in Austin. They guy who sold it to me was airbrushing
a t-shirt with a
DobbsHead. This was 1983. He asked me if I had ever
heard of Bob Dobbs
and
maybe he mentioned the Church. I said no. He told me
that I would be
hearing more about Bob in the future. I've bought a
lot of cars, but
this was the weirdest owner I'd ever dealt with. I got
a fair deal on
the car.
Some months later I took my son to a bookstore and told
him to pick
out any
book he wanted. He handed me the Book of the Subgenius.
I bought it
for him.
Later, at home, he told me to have a look. I glanced
through until I
found out that everything I knew was wrong. I told him
I would have to
get back with that book sometime later in my life.
So, I spoke my mind at a city council meeting in Austin
and pissed off
some
Rockefellers and Henry Kissinger. Then I hitch-hiked
to Mississippi
and went to got a chemistry degree at Mississippi University
for
Women. Then I was recruited by Michigan State (for observation,
I
think). Somewhere in there I sent in my $30. It was
around 1994. I
ordered my own copy of the Book and also
Revelation X. I signed up for study abroad. I ended
up in Australia
with those two books and I left them on the coffee table
in the group
house where I lived. I lived in the garage. Anyway,
I was doing my job
as an ordained minister spreading the gospel. Then the
Australian
Federal Police showed up.
They didn't much like those books. They didn't much
like me.
Basically, they couldn't take a joke so they fucked
ME!
So be nice to me, Mr. Stang. I did some pioneer work
for the Church in
Canberra and it wasn't easy duty. http://www.geocities.com/hrhughesjr
To see pictures of the DobbsHead I put on my dorm door
at The
University of New South Wales http://www.angelfire.com/ut2/australia
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: pooka666@hotmail.com (pooka666)
So they've caught these two guys.
Once again I find myself believing the news....about
how the gun was
found
in the car and matches the ballistics and now this history
is spilling
out.
...and I believe it.
Then in a month or so, as the case drags on, we will
start to hear
from
people who have studied the case and have found holes
in the official
story
and alternative reasons for stuff....and I'll have my
doubts...
but
I'm glad we can go back to dying in hospitals from drug-resistant
staph
infections and car wrecks instead of being shot at by
some folk
tale-loving
weirdo. We can go back to being shot by our own police
like at Waco.
We can go back to defending democracy by bombing wedding
parties on
the other side of the globe. Yeah!
Outstanding!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
pooka666 wrote:
>
> So they've caught these two guys.
>
So any future snipings with .223s will be
listed as "domestic disputes" and "gang-
related" killings and won't make the news,
no sir.
So everyone can relax and know two things:
1) You won't have to sit through any more
hour-long 'special reports' on teevee over
the "America Held Hostage By A Sniper - Day
XXX" story.
2) You can have faith that *your* government
is efficient. Nobody can escape the law.
Nobody can even evade it for more than a short
while. Everything is under control. Nothing
happening here. Keep moving. Don't look at
reality, just watch it on teevee, and accept
the official version. Crime doesn't pay.
--
Give me thank or kill me.
--nu-monet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <5a666fe7.0210241745.4a122d7c@posting.google.com>,
pooka666
<pooka666@hotmail.com> wrote:
> I'm glad we can go back to dying in hospitals from
drug-resistant
> staph
> infections and car wrecks instead of being shot
at by some folk
> tale-loving
> weirdo. We can go back to being shot by our own
police like at Waco.
> We can go back to defending democracy by bombing
wedding parties on
> the other side of the globe. Yeah!
>
> Outstanding!
Yeah... NO WAY could an American citizen, a BLACK MAN
moreover, get
furiously angry, go crazy and just start shooting strangers
for the
hell of it. ONLY a secret government black ops group
could think of
something like that, and the only way a shooter could
get away with it
for 3 weeks would be if the cops didn't WANT to catch
him. Right?
To be a real shit-head, and totally break the mood,
I must report that
last night, a young Cleveland police officer performed
a service, way
WAY above and beyond the call of duty, that almost certainly
saved me
from a serious bad fuckup. He *could easily* have just
done his job,
and let me royally fuck myself, but, believe it or not,
he went
considerably far out of his way to additionally PROTECT
AND SERVE.
The newspapers are full of stories of evil cops and
bad armies but yet,
somehow, there's always been one around when I NEEDED
that evil cop or
bad army.
It's almost... almost as if the world is painted in
shades of GRAY,
rather than black and white.
Damn, wouldn't that complicate things. All the answers
would no longer
be all the answers. We wouldn't HAVE them any more!
One would have to
start responding to events and people on a CASE BY CASE
BASIS. OH NO!!
There is such a thing as a good cop, and the United
States doesn't have
the ONLY government that fucks people over.
Sorry, but just when all the wronged angels are singing
their martyred
holiest, I have to go and fling shit at 'em with the
Devil. Sometimes,
just MAYBE, things are in fact just what they seem.
Sometimes, just
MAYBE, the simplest explanation is the right one.
"Maybe if everybody said "maybe" more
often, the world would suddenly
become a much SANER place." -- Pope Bob Wilson
I have to listen to know-it-all radicals on a daily
basis and after a
while it gets to me, in precisely the same way that
Rush Limbaugh's
bullshit gets to me. The lies of omission are the easiest
and the
sleaziest.
I too am glad we can go back to dying in hospitals from
car wrecks
instead of being shot at by folk-tale loving weirdos.
Or whatever you
were saying there. Personally I try to drive as little
as possible.
However, my job requires me to endure the folk-tale
loving weirdos.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
>Yeah... NO WAY could an American citizen, a BLACK
MAN moreover, get
>furiously angry, go crazy and just start shooting
strangers for the
>hell of it. ONLY a secret government black ops
group could think of
>something like that, and the only way a shooter
could get away with it
>for 3 weeks would be if the cops didn't WANT to
catch him. Right?
>
>To be a real shit-head, and totally break the mood,
I must report that
>last night, a young Cleveland police officer performed
a service, way
>WAY above and beyond the call of duty, that almost
certainly saved me
>from a serious bad fuckup. He *could easily* have
just done his job,
>and let me royally fuck myself, but, believe it
or not, he went
>considerably far out of his way to additionally
PROTECT AND SERVE.
>
>The newspapers are full of stories of evil cops
and bad armies but yet,
>somehow, there's always been one around when I NEEDED
that evil cop or
>bad army.
>
>It's almost... almost as if the world is painted
in shades of GRAY,
>rather than black and white.
>
next you'll be telling me there isn't really a "Bob".
stop it you're
scaring me.
(sniffle)
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"If you ever fall off of the Sears Tower, I think
a smart thing to
do would be to let your arms and legs go really limp.
That way people
on the ground would think you were a dummy and try to
catch you, because
hey, free dummy!" -- Jack Handey
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fossil_1984@hotmail.com (chaosisrael)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<251020021219396916%stang@subgenius.com>...
>
> To be a real shit-head, and totally break the mood,
I must report that
> last night, a young Cleveland police officer performed
a service, way
> WAY above and beyond the call of duty, that almost
certainly saved me
> from a serious bad fuckup. He *could easily* have
just done his job,
> and let me royally fuck myself, but, believe it
or not, he went
> considerably far out of his way to additionally
PROTECT AND SERVE.
>
> The newspapers are full of stories of evil cops
and bad armies but yet,
> somehow, there's always been one around when I
NEEDED that evil cop or
> bad army.
>
"Cops are 'fascist pigs' five minutes before you
get mugged, and 'thin
blue line of heroes' five minutes after."
--A guy who got mugged, once.
> It's almost... almost as if the world is painted
in shades of GRAY,
> rather than black and white.
>
What pills are you taking? *My* world's *Technicolor*,
with little
bronze & iridium floaties...
--
Pleasantville.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<251020021219396916%stang@subgenius.com>...
> To be a real shit-head, and totally break the mood,
I must report that
> last night, a young Cleveland police officer performed
a service, way
> WAY above and beyond the call of duty, that almost
certainly saved me
> from a serious bad fuckup. He *could easily* have
just done his job,
> and let me royally fuck myself, but, believe it
or not, he went
> considerably far out of his way to additionally
PROTECT AND SERVE.
>
> The newspapers are full of stories of evil cops
and bad armies but yet,
> somehow, there's always been one around when I
NEEDED that evil cop or
> bad army.
Well? Are you going to tell us what happened?
Don't leave us hangin', man.
+Dinosaurbob+
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <987jrucqihsibl3lbv7ragrvn26he48pg7@4ax.com>,
Joe Cosby
<joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
> next you'll be telling me there isn't really a
"Bob". stop it you're
> scaring me.
>
> (sniffle)
I had just been reading a string of False Prophet websites
that had me
ready to GAG at what one might call "knee-jerk
conspiracyism." If
modern day conspiracy buffs required as much proof from
each other as
they do from the mass media, they'd all have NOTHING
TO SAY.
"BELIEVE ME OUT OF IT," to quote Onan quoting
Dobbs recently. BELIEVE
ME FUCKING *OUT* OF IT.
(...quoted Stang, to get his Gray Ops paycheck for disinformationing
the Black Ops, while triple-crossing the Good White
Ops of the North.)
I just now thought of a funny horror story about "Bob"
being the actual
sniper and all of his actions having ACCIDENTALLY BENEFITTED
HUMANITY
in the long run... the parents of the next Stalins were
killed, etc.
etc., even John Allen Muhammad and his little pal are
getting a form of
Slack that will actually be better for them than had
they merely
continued being innocent bums, etc etc... good thing
I'm too busy with
the catalogs to fuck with it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <5a666fe7.0210280844.78eb421d@posting.google.com>,
pooka666
<pooka666@hotmail.com> wrote:
> I didn't mean to get on your nerves, honestly.
I don't know it all.
> I'm not much of a radical. I was just having fun.
>
> I think I've got it now.....Lee Harvey Oswald acted
alone. Jack Ruby
> killed Oswald because he was mad at him for upsetting
Jackie Kennedy.
> How silly of me for straying from this simple truth.
Uh oh. I guess
> I'm being a smart ass now.
>
> Okay, Bush probably won the election fair and square.
> JFK Jr. just screwed up and crashed.
> The war in Afghanistan is all about democracy.
Your sincerity sounds insincere, and your deliberate
insincerity is
poorly done. Work on the sarcasm and come back in a
couple of decades.
Send your next $30 to Sherman Skolnick or damn near
any of the other
Internet prophets. They'll tell you what you're looking
to hear. When
we said you'd pay to know what you really think, we
didn't specify that
WE or "Bob" would necessarily be the ones
to tell you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
> In article <5a666fe7.0210280844.78eb421d@posting.google.com>,
pooka666
> <pooka666@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote in message
> >
> > > I have to listen to know-it-all radicals
on a daily basis and after a
> > > while it gets to me, in precisely the
same way that Rush Limbaugh's
> > > bullshit gets to me. The lies of omission
are the easiest and the
> > > sleaziest.
> >
> > (snipe)
> >
> > > However, my job requires me to endure
the folk-tale loving weirdos.
Incidentally it wasn't YOU I meant by that gripe...
I was speaking in
general terms. What I described above is in no way a
new condition.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Howard R. Hughes, Jr." <pooka666@hotmail.com>
>
>Incidentally it wasn't YOU I meant by that gripe...
I was speaking in
>general terms. What I described above is in no way
a new condition.
>
>
>> >
>> > That's okay, Rev. Stang. You are much
braver than I am. I don't think
>> > I would have the energy to get out in
front of the world's BEST
>> > for-profit joke religion and all-purpose
weirdo magnet (guaranteed to
>> > be suspected and investigated) type cabal
of very talented people the
>> > way you do.
>> >
>> > Of course you get tired of it. You work
your ass off.
No, REALLY, I think you have achieved something very
valuable for
people like me who have few places to fit in.
Honest. I've always been proud that Dallas produced
something really
avante garde and respectable on an international scale.
The Church of the Subgenius just plain old kicks butt.
It's fun and
the graphics can't be topped.
So, I'm not your favorite anything. In fact, I get the
feeling you
just don't like me. Well, that's just one of the hazards
of the
limited scope of a few dashed-off postings.
There is something about me that just pisses you off.
I know how you
feel. But, lookit. I respect you for working so hard
at what you
believe in. I think that you and your friends have created
something
like a home for mutant kids. It's something to believe
in. It's a test
for shallow or constipated thinking. It's lots of things
to lots of
people.
Listen to me, George Bailey, your life has touched so many others.
You probably think I'm trying to be funny or something. I'm not.
I mean every word of it. THANK YOU.
Original file name: Sniper.txt.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41
This page was created using TextToHTML. TextToHTML is a free software for Macintosh and is (c) 1995,1996 by Kris Coppieters