A PACK OF LIES

From: David White <dave@i-one.at>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Aug 24, 2002 6:24 PM

<NOTE: Well, since it seems to be the right phase of the moon for all
the whackos to come out of the woodwork, I might as well chime in. I've
been trying, off and on, to write SubG agitprop for years. This here
just spouted off into a buffer right now, and in the post-compositional
glow, it seems... not so bad. Perhaps I'm wrong. -- std::>

Hello, Seeker!

Do you know what you're looking for?

There are certainly more than enough scam artists who will tell you what
you should be looking for. The insinuate themselves into your life, talk
to you like an "average Joe", and then proceed to offer you something;
in particular, Something for Nothing.

Guess what.

There actually IS such a thing as Something for Nothing. Pick an object
somewhere in your field of vision. Pretty much everybody agrees that
that object is made of billions of atoms. Where did the atoms come from?

Ask a religious man, and he will tell you that they were created by some
transcendental being or force, emerging from nothing. Ask a scientist,
and he will lead you along a long and complex path of creation, through
the hearts of stars and strange transmutations, which most likely began
with a sudden extrusion of space, time, energy and matter from a point
of zero dimension.

In short, Something for Nothing.

That someone (likely you) PAID for that bit of Something for Nothing is
the icing on the cake, the dot on the 'i', the cliche in the advertising
copy.

Could it be that everything you know is a pack of lies? How much of what
you know is direct experience? How much of that experience did you
interpret, using solely your own personal faculties of memory and analysis?

Unless you've been a hermit for the last twenty years, approximately
none of it. We are surrounded not only by phenomena, but ever more with
a cloud of phenomenologists, swarming like flies around roadkill,
offering explanations to passers-by whether they ask for them or not.

Usually, these explanations have strings attached, non-obvious side
effects that are difficult to anticipate. The ability to anticipate at
least some of the consequences is called "Common Sense". If you don't
have that, then you'd best look elsewhere until you find someone who
will sell you that. There's hardly a shortage of people who want to sell
you "Common Sense".

Take, for instance, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Well known as a fraud and scam
artist, this founder of a flying saucer cult hasn't kept every single
one of his myriad promises. Even now, devotees of his "Church of the
SubGenius" gather yearly, waiting for the saucers he promised to come.
Until now, they wait in vain.

This is, by the way, hardly unique. There have been countless "Battles
of Armageddon" since St. John wrote Revelations of the Greek island
Patmos. It is reasonable to wonder how many generals on that battlefield
wondered if they were playing Gog or Magog in that particular prophecy.

However, not everything "Bob" promised was a lie. There is a difference
between the "something for nothing" that is our universe, and the
"something for nothing" some guy who found a stuffed wallet on the
street has to offer. That difference is what "Bob" and his Church call
Slack.

As for the saucers -- the original prophecy was based on an arcane
cosmic economy of pain. There are very good reasons to believe that the
galactic pain market hasn't been doing very well lately. Pain is, and is
likely to remain, in overabundance, and those planet-sized Pleasure
Saucers "Bob" promised cost real money.

Even as you read this, you are being scammed. You are intrepreting these
words, looking for truth. Your hopes and fears and resentments and
desires mold the meanings you divine.

Perhaps you should concentrate less on projecting yourself into what you
read, and more on search for this elusive quality of Slack. "Bob" can
show you how.

For more information, send $1 to:

The SubGenius Foundation, INC
PO BOX 204206
Austin, TX 78720-4206

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: dave@i-one.at (David White)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<040920021339229010%stang@subgenius.com>...
> > For more information, send $1 to:
> >
> > The SubGenius Foundation, INC
> > PO BOX 204206
> > Austin, TX 78720-4206
> >
>
> THANKS!
>
> I amost missed this one. Say, you're not the David White from Dallas
> who died in a car wreck right after we did that MTV job, are you?

Nope. Haven't been dead yet.

std::

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <d4787473.0209050652.55ad85@posting.google.com>, David White
<dave@i-one.at> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message

> Nope. Haven't been dead yet.

Some people say death's GREAT, though I notice that none of the ones
who said so had tried it at the time, and those who finally did
suddenly became very quiet about it.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)

David White <dave@i-one.at> wrote in message news:<3D68079A.9080205@i-one.at>...

> As for the saucers -- the original prophecy was based on an arcane
> cosmic economy of pain. There are very good reasons to believe that the
> galactic pain market hasn't been doing very well lately. Pain is, and is
> likely to remain, in overabundance, and those planet-sized Pleasure
> Saucers "Bob" promised cost real money.

Excellent post. One point (not the top of my head).

I think pain is severely underrated. Pain is what causes one to
change an unbearable situation into a more beneficial one. That's
because pain, in volume, is the only thing that is more horrible for
us than change.

If anything, pain is in short supply. This is why people allow
themselves to remain in miserable situations for the rest of their
lives. That slow, sniggering, deep bone pain that isn't bad enough to
get our sorry asses to the dentist.

What say you?
-APLY

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Original file name: A PACK OF LIES.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:39