From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Mon, Aug 14, 2000 11:08 PM
There is almost NOTHING about ME and my marvelous adventures in this barren, lifeless, watered-down Quijibo!!
Naw, just kidding, just the cover alone is as hilarious as the whole Hour of Slack 745 (the Pastor craig Special, world's most hilarious Hour of Slack).
This issue has everything -- cheesecake, open flaming antagonistic personal challenges, gossip, photos proving how us and all are friends are so fucked up, really scholarly writing, really retarded writing, really natural writing, mixed drink recipes, ads, reviews of all the editors' friends' CDs (which happen to all be very much worthy of gushing reviews, since they are my friends too). JUST LIKE THE STARK FIST YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET!! Only WITHOUT ME!! The only two photos of me are when I had my Giant Dick head mask on. DON'T THINK I DISNOTICE THESE SUBTLETIES, BOYS!!
But, despite the cloying lack of reportage about my own many demonstrations and lectures, this Quijibo offers a refreshing dose of gossip about many of my friends and personal acquaintances, and thus is of immeasurably greater merit than ANY Conspiracy book sold in newstands or sitting as bait in libraries. Furthermore, none of my increasingly numerous enemies are even mentioned in this fine, fine publication. The only thing about it that I don't like is the photo of my young business associate Jesus sucking a great big fat cock. That makes me sick. And I took that picture. I'm just so thankful that it was a woman whose cock he was sucking.
$3 plus $1 postage to "Chris Bundy" c/o Quijibo Cartel, 18 W. Main, Suite. X, Greenfield IN 46140
--
Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. Cleveland Office (Stang): PO Box 19355, Cleveland OH 44119 Dallas Office (Jesus): PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / PRABOB http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack 1-888-669-2323: toll free order line ----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <399ADF0E.6B2E51A7@indy.net>, Christopher Lee <clbundy@indy.net> wrote:
AHHH!!! That explains why I can't remember doing ANYTHING -- all I remember is PURE, UNADULTERATED SLACK!
You're right -- I didn't do a GOD DAMNED THING!!
This old Church must finally be GETTIN' SOMEWHERE!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hellpopehueyx@my-deja.com
In article <3munps889m61dmbunqc2le09ilkkrtjuf8@4ax.com>, Sister Decadence <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:
Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
The only thing about it that I don't like is the photo of my young business associate Jesus sucking a great big fat cock. That makes me sick. And I took that picture. I'm just so thankful that it was a woman whose cock he was sucking.
I MUST have one of these. I need to send Chris some MONEY!!!! Sister Decadence
It was my understanding that you were supposed to READ Quijibo, not suck it. This is the opposite tack one would normally take when confronted with Doc Frop's cock. Anyway, that's what the tour book says. And the pictures are really boss. Its amazing what kinds of things you can pick up in Holland. Maybe even spirochetes from some grotty NP in the Red Light District if you don't wear your DobbsRubbers.
I suggest you be fairly selective in your oral activities. Licking printed matter these days just adds unwanted dioxin to your diet. Now SWALLOWING is another matter entirely. That's a personal choice. But if you've given "Bob" money, you've already swallowed more than you might think. I mean, you paid to KNOW it, but that doesn't mean they'll TELL you everything. Anyway, that's what that light-fingered Stang bastard said when he returned my empty wallet. I'll give you my full report after I return from riding the big blue MDA doggie to the Candy Planet.
HellPope Huey, Sorry to be so sardonic, but I have this sort of Gibsonian wistfulness about the dire isolation all this digital closeness has afforded me * beep *
"When that climax lightning bolt comes roaring down your loins, there's only one thing on your mind: Why in the hell is everybody else on this bus starin' at me?" - Dennis Miller, "I Rant, Therefore I Am"
"The only true comment on a piece of music is another piece of music." - Igor Stravinsky
11011011001101NECROPOLISLETHARGE01011100011101101SLACK-Os011100101010110 101NOFUMINGZONE011110110111110EYEBEAM1010101010100011010100001100101
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: md_archangelDINKY@hotmail.com (mykal d'archangel)
We in the Quijibo Marketing dept would like to think that Quijibo is good for *numerous* uses in the home - a 'common household item' if you will. Not unlike the materials those militia types use to make bombs.
Quijibo has been used as toilet paper (the obvious choice), fuel for a fire, and much much more... well.. ok - that's about it.
But if anyone is going to give Quijibo the ole 'deep throat', please take a picture and send it to us. We'll print it and send you another Quijibo.
m d'a
http://quijibo.walkingdead.net
Up one level